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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in aunt_becca's LiveJournal:

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Friday, March 27th, 2015
11:55 am
Sunday, December 22nd, 2013
10:53 pm
here's a message from our sponsors
Dear 2013,
go fuck yourself.
I am DONE with you.

Current Mood: uncomfortable
Monday, December 2nd, 2013
3:02 pm
my boy
we were at my in-law's home yesterday for a visit. Ben was in rare form. He's really into games now, and is pretty clever, if I do say so.
Anyway, my father-in-law asked Ben, jokingly "Ben, you're really smart. How did you get like that? Why are you so clever?" Ben says "Grandpa, you know why. It starts with an H." My father-in-law had no idea. Ben says "Hashem made me so smart, grandpa. He's the Ruler, you know."

That's my boy :)
Wednesday, November 20th, 2013
9:13 pm
and then...
my mom gets a beautiful letter written by one of my dad's former colleagues, a very frum Catholic man. He arranged for a Mass to be said in my dad's honor. A Mass in my dad's honor.
We are amused/confused. At least he has all his bases covered....
Wednesday, October 30th, 2013
5:51 pm
WS madness
pretty much all of Boston is under some sort of parking restriction/ban, due to the World Series, as well as the President being in town.
I am a Yankees fan, always will be. But part of me wants the Sox to win (blasphemy!!), because if they don't, a pissed of riot is way more dangerous than a happy, celebratory riot.
I was born and raised in NY, and I never saw the level of ridiculousness and destruction when the Yankees won the World Series. WTF Boston? Either way, it's not going to be good. I hope I'm proven wrong.
Monday, August 26th, 2013
10:18 pm
ah, mental health
I had an initial intake appointment tonight with a new therapist. Plusses so far: she seems quite competent and friendly, is experienced, and we had a good rapport. The downside: her office is in a drug treatment program. She sees her private clients at her current job setting. It's not really a big deal, as I go after hours. I have to get over the idea that people may see me walking into her clinic waiting room.
Good thing I don't give a shit about people's misconceptions about mental health and those who are consumers.
Friday, August 23rd, 2013
12:32 pm
Differences, and how to address them with a young child.....
Something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is how to address the issue of illness, disability, and people who for whatever reason look “different” to Ben. A few months ago, Ben and i were taking a walk. A Little Person walked past us, and we said hello. Be stated that “he looks like a kid and an adult. Which is he?” I explained that he was an adult that happened to be small, and Ben was perfectly happy to move on to debating me about which super hero could go undefeated in battle. We saw a person with a cane yesterday, and he asked me in a loud voice “why do they have THAT?! “ He went on to ask me if they got hurt, if they forgot how to walk, and all sorts of things only a 5 year old can ask. I explained as best that I could that sometimes people need help getting around, and that he may see people in wheelchairs, using walkers or canes. Or, they may walk with a limp. I also explained how sometimes people may look different than we do for all sorts of reasons, whether it being that they have limbs missing (this came up last year), have scars, or other injuries. It’s not “funny,” just different looking. The message I was trying to give him is that people can be different on the outside, and that it’s what they do, and how they interact with us, that’s truly important. I think he gets that as best that he can.
My big question is how to respond when he asks these things loudly, in public. Like “hey! is he an adult or a kid!?” or “why does her face look funny?!” The last thing I would want is for someone to feel insulted or embarrassed. And are there other ways to describe someone with differences in a way that he will understand?

Current Mood: curious
Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
12:09 pm
holy shit
Is there a draft in here? Why is it so damn breezy in my office?
Oh, I know why...I just ripped a new one by a family.

holy shit words can't even begin to describe the meeting I just had.
I need a drink. or a toke.

Current Mood: distressed
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013
11:20 am
stupid diabetes. stupid PMS that makes my blood sugar spike in spite of a VERY low-carb breakfast. Stupidstupidstupid.

Current Mood: annoyed
Monday, July 1st, 2013
12:16 pm
this is hard work
my job can be very stressful. It's so difficult to not get emotionally attached to my clients and their families.
I have a new client who is 16. All I want to do is give him a hug and tell him that he's going to be okay. But I can't.
I have another client-actually, it's a married couple- who's son has severe OCD. I have to support them while they essentially sit back and watch him hit rock bottom. Oy.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
3:25 pm
music to my ears
Pink Floyd is now on Spotify. Suddenly, being stuck at my computer by massive amounts of paperwork isn't so bad.

Sunday, June 16th, 2013
7:17 pm
things that make you go.....(?)
Ben and I went to JP Licks to get Rich a big cup of ice cream for Father's Day. We parked in the Fuller Street lot, and took the alley cut through, that goes between Gap Kids and Good Vibrations. Thank goodness Ben did not ask me what's sold in that store. Anyway, as we're walking through the "Centre Street Walk" aka the alley, I see a sign on the window of Good Vibrations, proudly stating that they are "green and eco-friendly."
Is that the criteria for which one chooses a sex-toy shop?

Current Mood: curious
Friday, May 31st, 2013
5:47 pm
you just have to wonder sometimes.....
Ben's class is learning about safety. One of his teachers is reading "Let's Stay Safe," which s an excellent book to help parents initiate the conversation about safety, touching, etc. We have a copy at home.
Each kid had to act out a scenario that may be unsafe, and say what they would do if they saw it happen, or if it was happening t them. So, on kid pretended that his baby sister was going to the medicine cabinet, and he put the pill bottle on a higher shelf. Another kid acted out what he would do if he got lost in a store. Another said what he'd do if an adult "wanted me to keep a secret from my Mommy and Daddy." One modeled what she would do if her ball went into the street. What scenario does Ben do? What to do if I get my head stuck in a box.

that's MY child.

Current Mood: amused
Tuesday, May 28th, 2013
10:43 am
anniversary weekend
we celebrated our 10th anniversary this weekend. Ben went to the lake house with his grandparents, so we could go away by ourselves. A lot of fun and wacky things happened over the 3 day weekend. Here are some highlights:

-Shabbat dinner at friend's home. We haven't gone out for spring Shabbat dinner in a long time. Got back at 1am. I slept the entire next morning, got up at 10:30! Sweet! Followed by lunch, a long nap for both of us, and a lovely mincha/maariv/Havdala.

- went out to hear jazz music motzei Shabbat. Went to Wally's in the South End. Totally crowded and noisy, and worth every second! Got in entirely too late :)

- road trip to Mystic and Mohegan Sun on Sunday morning. Mystic is ah-mazing!! We saw so many cool things, and saw a billion Jewish families, too :)
- Sunday night we hot Mohegan Sun for a concert. Classic Albums Live had a Queen show. Holy crap, it was so freaking incredible. They did the entire album "A Night at the OPera" and then for the second set, sis all of the greatest hits. We screamed/sang our hearts out with the rest of the crowd. Drank a lot, ate ice cream, walked around, and acted silly. It was GREAT.
-Monday- more Mystic. Went to a sea chanty sing-along. Sat at the waterfront and relaxed. Did turn of the century things. Had a blast!

realized we need to get out more often, and get away sans child every now and then. What a weekend!

Current Mood: cheerful
Friday, May 10th, 2013
6:27 pm
gimme drugs
I am singlehandedly keeping the pharmaceutical companies afloat. My allergies are so bad this season, and I am miserable. Between the mulch, pollen, and not a whole lot of rain, I am a mess. I crash every night at 10pm, because after a while, the only thing that helps is Benadryl. Kind like a rock star- passing out early, waking up a drooly mess. All I'm missing is the narcotics and groupies.
Wednesday, May 8th, 2013
9:03 am
volunteering, sort of
I was asked last week if I would accept a nomination to join the shul board. I thought about it, and politely declined. I did this for several reasons, including increased responsibilities at work, not wanting to deal with the politics and nuances of an administrative board, and the potential for me to get wrapped up in politics. The person who asked me gave me a long pitch about why it's important to have younger people on the board, especially ones with small children, and who have a vested interest in the shul. I totally get that. And I got exactly where he was coming from, in terms of trying to overhaul the board, so that it functions in a way where things get done, in cooperation, and that everyone works together to reach certain goals. I absolutely agree.
I had to decline. Frankly, even though I "could skip meetings if you're unable to attend," I simply did not want to do it at this time. I believe the person who asked me is not used to people saying no to him. He tried to point out why I should go, how it's in the best interest of the shul for motivated and committed people to be on the board, and then...he tried to guilt me into it. He was "disappointed" that I couldn't sacrifice 90 minutes a month for the greater good. Sorry, Bud. I have 2 parents who are the only people who can use parental guilt, and you are not one of them.
It's an honor just to be nominated.....
Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
10:15 am
I know a new way to walk (walk, walk)
Did the Walk for Hunger this past Sunday. I surpassed my donation goal, which is pretty cool.
I did 5 miles quite easily. Looks like the trianing paid off!
I could have made it to the next checkpoint, which was at 7.5 miles, but I didn't want to push it- my ankle was fine, but if it gave out, I'd be in trouble. My goal for next year is to make it to 10 miles. It really was a wonderful and fun experience.

Current Mood: accomplished
10:13 am
the wheels are turning in his little brain.....
Ben's morahs (teachers) have often commented that he thinks a lot. He has to know what's going on, why, and what happens next. He's extremely curious and thoughtful, and will ask questions that sometimes catch them or us off guard. Nothing inappropriate, but you just have to wonder what's going on in his head. Some recent examples:

-Yesterday, I put him in his monster stroller (we got a massive jogging stroller, so I can walk/jog with him, especially the days I can't get to the gym), and we went to the reservoir for a walk. We looked at the plants, flowers, and wildlife. He pointed out the different flowers he could identify, and we talked about nature, and how Hashem created such beautiful things in the world.
As we got about halfway around, we switched to the paved path, as there were big holes on the gravel path. We walked past a chalked hopscotch board, clearly drawn by a kid. Ben got a little upset. "Hey! This is a Jewish place, and they ruined it!" I asked him to explain more about what that meant, and that the reservoir is for everyone, not just Jews. "I know!" he says, "but Hashem made this place and they hurt it." Turns out that he thought the chalk hopscotch board was vandalism, and that the reservoir was ruined. "Why would someone hurt a place that Hashem made, Mommy?"
I explained that sidewalk chalk was made for this purpose, and that it wasn't vandalism. Nothing would be ruined. I described in very simple terms how it was different than graffitti, and also explained what littering was, and how we have to take care of the earth. "So Hashem isn't angry?" No sweetie, He isn't.

-"Mommy, we put seeds in the ground so plants, vegetables, and fruit grows. I know that Haskem doesnt plant people in the ground, so how are they made?" By Mommies and Daddies, with a lot of help from Hashem. At some point I'll get into the medical technology that helps babies to be born :) But for now, this was good enough.

-walking home yesterday, we saw a little person. An adult male. There happen to be quite a few little people in our neighborhood. Ben says "who's that guy?!" in earshot of him. I said that I didn't know his name, and that he was going to the park to play basketball (he had a b-ball with him). "But Mommy, is he an adult or a kid? He looks like an adult, but he also looks like a kid." I explained that people are made in all different sizes, skin colors, and heights. "Oh, okay!" and he moved on to talking about Star Wars.

I love how his mind works.

Current Mood: contemplative
Friday, May 3rd, 2013
5:02 pm
I really want to go to the shul learning this year..  It's not about the fleishig BBQ break, although, that sounds amazing :)  I'd really like to go to at least part of it.
Rich goes to Ira's every year for all-night learning. He really likes it, and he usually stays all night, or pretty close to it.
I don't know how to make this work. I can get a babysitter, I suppose, but that means they'd have to sleep here because I wouldn't want them walking home so late by themselves. Plus- I don't know if I'll even be able to find one.
I'm going to miss out on the learning and I'm going to be bummed. I just know that's what's going to happen. Perhaps the speakers will speak at shalosh seudos in the following weeks.
Oh well.
Sunday, April 28th, 2013
8:51 pm
no, I won't back down
Had to take a pretty hard line with Ben today.  After not apologizing for doing something completely unacceptable, and then still not apologizing, he got a warning that he would not be allowed to go to the Lag B'Omer festivities at the park.  He had been looking forward to this all week.  So- he didn't apologize, and I stood my ground.  Even when Rich wanted me to make an exception "because it only comes once a year."  Too damn bad. I am able to tolerate Ben being angry and throwing tantrums.  Doesn't mean I like it, but I can tolerate them just fine.  maybe it's due to the nature of my work.  Who knows.  Anyway, I didn't cave.  And he saw that we wanted to go, but we had to stay home, too.
It is so clear to me which one of us he takes more seriously when it comes to discipline. He saw that I wasn't budging, and went to Rich, who almost took him to the festivities. And I was fully prepared to kill him if he did.  I'm here more with Ben, so I've gotten used to the tantrums and attempts to manipulate.  Rich hasn't.  Until today.
Being consistent sucks, sometimes.  I was told that "I hate you, Mommy."  Okay, fine.  He was over it in a little while, and then the rest of the day was truly lovely. 
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